Really grinds My Gears...

Here are things that irritate the piss out of people in the restaurant industry.

-If you're going to go out to dinner and order a 12oz Filet, do NOT ask for it to be well done.
1) It's going to take 45 minutes, minimum!
2) Everyone else at the table that ordered chicken and salads are going to be pissed at you
3) We are going to butterfly that steak, so you dont get pissed that it takes 45 minutes, and youre still going to get pissed.
4) a Filet should NEVER EVER EVER be cooked Well done...go to Applebee's!

-If it's obviously busy, and you can tell just look around, please be patient. We try to treat every customer as if they're the only one in the restaurant, but sometimes we can't chat with you for 20 minutes at a time.

-if you bring kids, they'd better behave. This isnt a babysitting service. Bring a leash if you have to, hell, we may give you free dessert!!

-Dont come in a half hour before a movie and order the menu item that takes the longest to prepare...

-know what your ordering, servers arent mind readers, and us kitchen guys dont know that your "med rare" steak is supposed to be med well

- if youre in a group, dont play musical chairs!!! Servers take your order IN order...its hard to remember 25 faces and who got the 25 different drinks, and 25 always custom entrees

-if you have allergies, please remember what they are before your food is delivered

- if you dont have money to tip, dont go out. it kills the servers' paycheck, and we have to hear about it in the kitchen. not to mention its rude as hell.

-Be nice to the host/hostess. if its the weekend, get a reservation. if its a holiday get a reservation. Just because you can see an empty table doesnt mean its not reserved for someone who knows how to plan ahead. Most of the time, the hostess is still in high school, there is NO reason to scream at a 16yr old kid because you cant get your favorite table right fuckin now, its not their fault.

-if your favorite food isnt full in the buffet when you get up there, its probably a popular item, and will be out shortly. Dont FLIP out, yell and scream and throw your plate on the floor because there isnt any damn bacon (that'll be my next post)

-more to come, but have to go now...

Its OK if you dont know...

Its TOTALLY fine if you're not a huge wine drinker, but PLEASE don't act like one.

I'm sitting with the bartender and a pair of some of our favorite regulars, trying to explain the features I had lined up for the upcoming weekend. I get about half way through my little speech and I happen to catch the host of the dinner talking about Cabernets, and certain wineries he enjoyed going to...though, he pronounced it "Cab-er-nets", (like a basketball net). Hoping that he was joking, I continued with my friends at the bar. After another few minutes, the server approaches the table with a few flights of some wines she thought they may like and passes them around. They sip on them for a while and eventually ask the server back. Sure-freakin-enough, the guys says, "Yes my dear, We will have a bottle of the CaberNET." She kindly asks him to repeat which one he asked for, seeing as she must have heard him wrong. Again, he asked for the CaberNET. I ask my guests to hold on for just a second as I know this situation could turn horribly wrong very quickly. I take the 4 steps it took to reach the table in a calm but rapid manner and introduce myself as the Chef, and sincerely apologized because there was an emergency phone call for the server and I would be happy to finish taking their order. She gave me a look of terror and went to see the bartender who would be the one with the phone. I proceeded to take the order, thank them for stopping in, reassured them their choices were fantastic, and their drinks would be out shortly. The server was waiting in the kitchen for me, angry as hell! She yelled at me for taking the table, blah blah, and I rebutted with how she had NO idea what the guy was trying to order. In the end, we were all laughing so hard we had tears running from our faces. Eventually, the table was leaving, and I pulled the gentleman aside, and in my best effort as to not embarrass him, explained how to pronounce his wine. He just starts laughing his ass off, which confused the hell out of me! He went to explain that he made a bet with his friend with him on the basis that he would pronounce it wrong the whole night and see if anyone would correct him. He would have won the bet if I had not confronted him on their way out. Sorry for screwing you out of $10 bud, I just couldn't let you go elsewhere and be a moron again!!

Breaking The Ice

I was 15 years old, it was my first job, and I was a line cook at Dairy Queen. It was an easy job - grill off a bunch of burgers, store them in a steam drawer, build sandwiches, drop fries, and make chicken baskets. BTW, I still LOVE their powdered gravy...I know, I know...So a few months into it, my manager wanted me to detail the fryer. I had never done this before so I was clueless as to what I was doing. Our training program would NOT be approved by OSHA what-so-ever, which basically consisted of, "Here's the kitchen, here's your spat, there's the cooler, let me know if you have any questions". So I'm supposed to clean the fryer. I find a green scrub pad and start detailing. Oh, mind you, my boss didn't want me to turn the machine off because it would take too long to reheat. I didn't know, I was 15, and he was the boss; I thought, "He wouldn't do anything to put me in harms way, I'll be fine". So I'm scrubbing away, and ended up slipping which led me to dunk my right pinky-finger in the 350 degree oil. Again, I'm 15, I thought I was going to get in trouble for messing up, so I ran it under water, stuck it in a cup of soft-serve ice cream, cleaned it, and wrapped it up before anyone saw what happened. All of which was a BAD idea. I called off work the next day, excusing myself for being "sick", and tried going back a few days later. The heat from the grill was too intense, so I ended up quitting. Still to this day, my finger tends to go numb in extreme conditions of heat and cold. What did I learn? 1) don't clean a hot fryer. 2) Don't dunk your fried finger in soft-serve. 3) Make sure to get worker's comp, because a boss who asks a 15yr old kid to clean a hot fryer deserves to pay for fried nerves that will never grow back. I thought this would be a great place to start, there are surely tons of stories to come from me alone, and I hope you add a few as well! Please feel free to leave feedback as well, I'm new to this and definitely want advice. Thanks!!